"For let a man (as most men do,) rate themselves as the Highest Value they can; Yet their true value is no more than it is esteemed by others."

Red Forman: "But the yellow part is the baby bird. That's what I want to eat..."

"Adjusting to the requirement of perfection is the hardest part of learning to program"

Kelso: "Ohhhh. That's a burn about a burn. That's a second degree burn."

The Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Worship without sacrifice; Politics without principle.

"Youre engaged, that is latin for screwed for life."

Red Forman: And without rules, we might as well all be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next."

"The scourge of junk email reached new proportions at the end of 2003 with nearly two out of every three messages sent worldwide being an unwanted advertisement."

"No... giving up cigarettes is cleansing... giving up sex is reckless and irresponsible... and I think it might cause cancer."